If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am:
I'm a self-important physicist---all other kinds are sham.
Each minor fault of judgment and each trivial defect
In my erring fellow-theorists I endeavour to correct.
To all their little weaknesses I open people's eyes;
And little plans to kill their stupid papers I devise;
I love my fellow-theorists-I do such important work---
Yet everybody says I am a nasty, vicious jerk!
And I can't think why!
 

To those who trust electrons, I've a withering reply:
They break up into charge and spin which never unify .
All complicated theories I can skillfully dissect
But the flaws in my approach are too subtle to detect.
To everybody's prejudice I know a thing or two;
I sneer at stripes and staggered flux and also at Z(2);
Though to benefit the ITP is everything I seek
Yet everybody says I am a nasty, slimy geek!
And I can't think why!